What I'm reading this week (5/16/16)

Got a lot of yard work done this weekend, cleaning out the lily and iris beds, but it's still to early to put my garden in. Or, depending on how you define garden, it's growing grass as well as any spot in the yard! I wish I would have had more time to read this weekend, but it feels pretty good to have accomplished so much outside in spite of the chilly temperatures.

As for books...

Last week I finished:

What to say about Miller's Valley? It just shows how each book I read is so different, and each author's style is so unique. It was the writing, more than the plot or characters, that I enjoyed most about this book. Anna Quindlen is a phenomenon. She writes in short, declarative sentences, and never has her style lent itself to a character better than to the characters in Miller's Valley. It's a rather depressing book, there's an overall cloud of depressed hopes and attitudes over everything. Things happen, people deal. The end. Miller's Valley and its people reminded me a lot of where I grew up: rural small towns, busybodies, the bright kids trying to get out. I borrowed the book from the library to read it, and afterwards I debated about buying a copy. I wasn't sure I'd want to re-read it, but something about it (besides the beautiful cover) made me want to keep it. I finally did buy a copy (it's only $14 on Amazon right now). I really recommend this book for the experience of reading it.

I also finished How to Build a Car and recommend it to anyone with kids who like to know how things work. The story portion is pretty dull, but the pictures are lovely, and the diagrams of the different car systems are very interesting and quite detailed. I plan to read others in the series.

Last week I started:

I was experiencing poetry withdrawal, so I started my poetry re-read for the month, Risking Everything. It's a good collection, leaning more toward the emotional and ethereal. I don't love it as much as the first time I read it (probably 10 years ago), but mostly because I've encountered most of the poems elsewhere since.

Finally started Killing Lincoln, and it's fascinating, as all the Killing books are. It necessarily talks about the Civil War, of which I remember nothing from high school, so the refresher is fun. These books are fast-paced and informative, and I've loved them all.

This week I'm continuing with:

 

I don't love Harry Potter, but the writing is pulling me through. I do want to see what happens next, but I have to force myself to pick up the book most of the time.

Still loving In a Sunburned Country. One of my very favorite Brysons. It's Bryson at his best.

Next up:

 

Since I've already bought four subsequent books in the Mary Russell series, I sure hope I enjoy this book (the first in the series)!

14 Years: 14 Things We Do Right

The last year of our marriage, my husband and I have been through a lot. We left our beloved church, said goodbye to two dear friends, and went through the loss of my father. In addition, my husband’s job took a turn that left him miserable. It’s easy during years like this when we’re dealing with so much emotion and disappointment to pick away at the scabs of a long(ish) marriage. It’s easy to focus on the things about your spouse that drive you crazy or make you angry. It’s easy to pull away in pain, distrust, or frustration. In short, it’s easy to see the places where that marriage quilt might start to unravel.

But in the last year, our fourteenth together, we’ve learned just how much we need each other in order to face the world and be our highest self. We’ve pulled together in sweet ways and learned how to express what we’re feeling even when it’s humiliating or confusing.

After 14 years, I could write many lists. For instance, a list of “14 things about my husband that drives me abso-flippin-bananas,” or “14 things I wish he’d never do again, ever,” or “14 reasons I’m a really bad wife,” or “14 marriage fears in order of likelihood of happening.” It’s easy. All married couples could write them. But In a day when the average American marriage lasts just eight years (!), it's important to celebrate what makes our marriage strong, even while working on what makes us individually weak. So, today I’m going to celebrate my mate with a list of 14 things we do right as a couple.

May 11, 2002

1. We defend each other. I’m kind of surprised at how often we’ve had to do this in the last 14 years, but it’s comforting to know that when push comes to shove, we know we have each other’s backs. We’ve defended each other to family, in grocery stores, and we’ve even done it in church board meetings.

2. We thank each other. This is so simple, and sometimes it feels ridiculous, but it’s amazing what a difference a simple “thank you” makes. I estimate I’ve done 2,184 loads of laundry in the years we’ve been married. I do it because it needs to be done without expecting a thank you, but every now and then my husband will say, “Thanks for washing my clothes.” Boy does that put a girl over the moon.

engagement, 2001

3. We say “I love you” all. the. time. I could write a whole post on the many ways we tell each other “I love you.” But it never gets old.

4. We foster playful attitudes. This might be the most important thing we do on a day-to-day basis to keep the equilibrium in our marriage. We live to make each other laugh. We goof off a lot. Then we take pictures.

5. We spend a lot of time together. When I say a lot of time, I mean like all the time we aren’t working. As the years go on, I realize I need more time to myself than I thought, so we’ve learned to accommodate that, but we both still miss each other whenever we’re apart.

6. We get cozy together. I’m not a big snuggler, hand-holder, or footsie player, so I’m not really talking about nuzzling under a blanket in front of the fire (A. not a nuzzler, B. give me my own blanket thank you very much, C. the fire would be too warm for hubs). I’m talking about old black and white B scary movies with the lights down on a Saturday night. I’m talking about picnics in the car on Saturday.

Christmas 2004

7. We get creative together. My husband is always building something from two-by-fours and plywood. And he’s always looking for ways to solve design problems. Since we’re always together, I get to help him to, as I say, “break two things to build a third.”

8. We know that it’s the little things. We live a simple life. Adventure to us is running an errand after work instead of going straight home. We like our little routines: Subway for supper on Thursday nights, scary movies with our grandson on Fridays, watching Monk on Sundays.

9. We let each other blow off steam without trying to fix things. Hubs is learning to be less of a “fixer” and “offerer of solutions,” and I’m learning to not worry about our future if hubs is unhappy on one particular afternoon.

10. We agree on the big things. I believe this is the biggest indicator of how successful a marriage will be. If you agree on the big things: faith, family, finances, and just generally how to live life, the rest will just be gravy.

A lot of gravy.

Enough gravy to almost drown you.

But gravy nonetheless.

11. We pray for each other. I think the most powerful thing I’ve ever done in my marriage is pray for my husband.

12. We celebrate our kids and grandkids. Our little family can be off the charts chaotic and dysfunctional. We don’t always agree on how to handle certain situations, and being a stepmom is often painful, stressful work. But we’re learning to celebrate the milestones of our kids—both for them and for us. We agree that we need to show up for them even when we don’t particularly feel like it. It makes all the difference.

2006

13. We spend a lot of time in the car. When we have nothing else to do, we’ll get in the car and drive. Being in the car together is the best atmosphere for us to have a good heart-to-heart. There aren’t a lot of distractions, you have each other’s undivided attention, and you don’t have to look at each other in case what you’re sharing is difficult to talk about.

14. We’re patient. Every wedding I’ve ever been to with my husband, he’s offered this piece of advice to the groom: Be patient with her. I’m not sure what that says about me, exactly, but I’d have to agree with him overall. No two married people are ever quite at the same place at the same time. He’s a quick decision maker, I’m a ditherer. He’s high energy and loud, I’m low-key and quiet. He’s a talker, I’m a listener. He’s reaches logical conclusions, I reach emotional ones. We’re the textbook example of opposites attracting, so patience is extremely important for us. We’re learning that we’ll likely never change each other (shocker!), and we wouldn’t like the person we’d changed our spouse into anyway, so patience is paramount to harmony.

Happy fourteenth anniversary, Bing! You're still my favorite.

P.S. Why don't we have a more recent photo of us than 2006?

 

 

Top Ten Tuesday (non-book websites)



This week's topic: Ten websites I love that aren't about books.

Each week I check/use dozens of blogs and websites, and I can only think of nine of them that aren't about books!

In no particular order, some of my favorite timewasters:

1. eBay

This is where I buy antique photo portraits for my collection.

2. Christian Science.com

Where I read The Bible and Science and Health online.

3. Pumpkin the Raccoon

If you don't know Pumpkin, you should. (Soon to be a book.)

4. Titus 2 ministries

I'm unsure how I ever happened upon their site, but I've been following their ultra-conservative family for years.

5. Ni Hao Ya'll

This family has just adopted their tenth child from China (they had four of their own, too). Her photos of the children are beautiful. 

6. J House Vlogs

A video blog of a family living in Kansas City. I heart Caleb.

7. The Pioneer Woman

Where I get lots of my recipes, plus Ree is just a happy uplifting soul.

8. Ruby Lane

An online antiques store. (I used to have a shop here.)

9. Allrecipes

A good place to search for recipes, although I wish the site worked a little better.

10. AARP games

I love their mahjong games.

What I'm reading this week (5/9/16)

Last week I finished:

The Summer before the War wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but I loved it. Well, "love" might be strong considering it's not a very warm, fuzzy-feeling book (this is, after all, a book about World War I--one of the bloodiest wars ever fought), but it was well-written, the characters were well-fleshed, the dialogue was good, etc. The plot was slight, but this is more of a slice-of-life book than anything. If the home front is what you like best about war books, this is perfect for you. It would make a good book to sink into in the summertime, I think.

I also finished The Road Not Taken, an examination of Frost's iconic American poem of the same title. This slim volume does an awful lot. In addition to some biographical info on Frost, we gain insight into the American psyche and what choice means to us as a culture, but we never get around to what the poem is trying to say (but hint: it's not what thousands of high school valedictorian speeches would have us believe). It did bog down in places (and that's saying something for a book that's not even 200 pages), and I was disappointed that we never did get to the bottom of the matter (what IS the poem saying?), but overall, I enjoyed the experience, if nothing more than for the chance to read a reasoned argument; ever since college graduation, those are scarce.

Last week I gave up on:

Well, I've abandoned my first two books of the year. There are so many books I really want to read, and that made severing ties much easier.

I wanted to love Wynton Marsalis's Moving to Higher Ground, but I'm not sure I was his intended audience. Perhaps I gave up too soon (that's always the risk, isn't it?), but I was no longer looking forward to reading it, so I stopped.

I also gave up on Shauna Niequist's Savor. I generally enjoy her books (I've read them all, and there's another coming out later this year), which are faith-based. But, I think another blogger hit the nail on the head for me recently when she said she thought Niequist is just too emotional for some readers. She's a deep-diver into woman-y issues, and when you add faith to that, the books can often get weighed down with sentiment when they're meant to uplift. Add to this the fact that Niequist and I don't share a common set of beliefs about religion and God and Jesus--beyond the basics--and you have a recipe for dissatisfaction. Plus, this book is a devotional page-a-day book, which tend to annoy me in general. Many people really enjoyed her last book, Bread and Wine, essays about faith, food, and family. I enjoyed her earlier books more (though they do tend toward emotional writing), Cold Tangerines and Bittersweet. I do still plan to read her forthcoming book, Present over Perfect.

Last week I began:

Oh Harry Potter, will you and I become friends? I'm having trouble getting into Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, what with all the names and terms and the fact that I'm not in any stretch a fan of fantasy. But I'm giving it a go. I can already acknowledge that Rowling is a gifted writer, and likely a genius to boot. But then anyone who can create a functioning otherworld just blows me away. I don't have that gene. I apparently even lack the gene to understand another's otherworld.

How to Build a Car, on the other hand, is kind of fascinating. It's a young-middle-grade reader about a trio of friends who decide to build a car. The illustrations are beautiful, and there are lots of illustrations where they break down carburetors and the like.

This week I'll be reading:





This week I continue with:

Don't be surprised if Bill Bryson's In a Sunburned Country is on my Top Ten list at the end of the year. I'm enjoying it so doggone much. Sometimes I wish I was reading it instead of listing to it, but then I'd miss out on Bryson's dry delivery which cracks me up. (His bit on cricket matches had me in stitches.) So maybe I'll read it after I finish the audio to fulfill my "Re-read a book within twelve months of its first reading" 2016 goal.

May 2016 Reading List

May's reading list was hard to create. There are so many books I want to read right now, especially new books. But I forced myself to choose some things off the TBR. I also have a couple re-reads, and, yes, a bunch of new books.

Fiction:

Nonfiction:

Poetry:

Children's:

 

Photography:

 

Audio:

 

I might be able to squeeze in another book or two, depending on how things play out. I'm getting an early start on my May list, since I finished all my April reads early. I'm not sure what I'd choose, but likely something nonfiction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What I'm reading this week (5/2/16)

 My husband had to work Saturday, so I had a free reading day. I willfully neglected housework (it doesn't take much for me to do this) and lazed on the couch all day hopping from book to book.  

Last week I finished:

My re-read of The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry (on audio) was a treat. I'd forgotten much of the details of the book, so it felt new. I can't recommend the audio version highly enough.

I also finished Rob Lowe's first autobiography Stories I Only Tell My Friends. Three things about Rob Lowe: (1) He knows he's handsome, which makes him less so to me. (2) He's like the Forest Gump of celebrity friendships--he met or worked with or slept with EVERYONE you can think of in Hollywood (and if he didn't sleep with them, he slept with their daughters). (3) Rob Lowe is quite famous considering he's done very little of note since his breakthrough in The Outsiders in 1983 (this book only takes us up through his leaving The West Wing). I don't quite understand it. All in all, this was a nice romp through Hollywood, but I don't think Mr. Lowe and I would be friends if we met. It's not that I disliked Lowe or the book, it's just...to each his own.

I also finished the second Ms. Marvel comic, Generation Why. I can't even really tell you the plotline, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I'm not sure that I'll continue with the series--the novelty might have worn off for me--but I've enjoyed taking in a new genre.

This week I'll be reading:

 

The Summer before the War is set in England at the breakout of World War I. It's one of those big chunky novels where not much happens, but the characters are well fleshed out and you just go along for the ride. It's sort of Jane Austen-y but updated and without the humor. Which makes it sound awful, but if you're in the mood to slow your reading down and just go where a plot takes you, this is a good fit. I'm enjoying it.

Last week I also began The Road Not Taken: Finding America in the Poem Everyone Loves and Almost Everyone Gets Wrong. You might have to be a poetry and/or literary nerd to enjoy this book, but I am both. I'm learning about Robert Frost, whom I know embarrassingly little about, and also (eventually, hopefully) will get to the bottom of the meaning of his poem that's always been an enigma to me. It's iconic, but it really makes no sense.

Hubs and I have been dipping in and out of Ken Burns' Jazz series on PBS. We both just sit there for as long as it's on, transfixed. Not only is Ken Burns a genius, but the history of Jazz is just incredible. I mean, here is a group of people with a history of being separate and not equal creating a musical form that gave birth to most other America forms of music from rock and roll to R&B to pop to rap. One of the jazz musicians interviewed in the series is Wynton Marsalis whom I've fallen in love with. He's an extraordinary person with a way of expressing himself that is at once humble and expert, honest and passionate. So I checked the library for any books by him, and I found Moving to Higher Ground: How Jazz Can Change Your Life. I'd intended to just add it to my reading list, but I read a page or two and just kept going. Fascinating.

My current audiobook:

You know how I complain about Bill Bryson's books being hit or miss for me? Well, In a Sunburned Country is fast becoming one of my favorite Bryson books. A definite "hit." He's at his best here, stranding the line between a history of Australia and travelogue. His dry humor is a delight. The audio version is read by him and very engaging.

 

 

 

Author Interview: Brady Carlson Talks about his book Dead Presidents

One of my very favorite reads so far in 2016 was Brady Carlson's Dead Presidents: An American Adventure into the Strange Deaths and Surprising Afterlives of Our Nation's Leaders, released by W. W. Norton & Company on February 1. It has all of my favorite elements: engaging narrative style, oodles of presidential trivia, and a touch of lighthearted humor. Plus, a passing mention of ShowBiz Pizza Place which I have literally not thought of for 30 years; those animatronic animals singing golden oldies--anyone else remember that?

Sorry about the digression, but it just goes to show you, you never know what you'll find in a book about history. I think that's what makes history so engaging and so worth both holding onto and sharing with others. I think Brady feels the same way, and his enthusiasm for his subject is infectious.  

Recently I interviewed Brady about his book, presidential history, and what's next for him. I think you'll enjoy his insights.

* * *

We have to start off with a generic question that I’d ask pretty much everyone I meet if I could: What do you like to read about? What are your favorite books?

 

What a great question! These days most of what I read is for kids, as I have three—I just finished reading Gary Paulsen’s Hatchet to my five year old, and the younger two are enjoying pretty much every picture book we put in front of them. For myself I read about history, of course, or music—I just finished Carrie Brownstein’s memoir, Hunger Makes Me A Modern Girl. I also really like cookbooks—Jacques Pepin’s Heart & Soul in the Kitchen is really fun. 

 

I really want to read the new one from Annette Gordon Reed, Most Blessed of the Patriarchs, about Thomas Jefferson. Which is probably a surprise to no one at all! 

 

Specifically, what are some of your favorite books about presidents or American history?

 

I have sentimental favorites that hooked me as a kid on the stories of presidents, both dead and alive. I read and re-read a book called Mr. President by George Sullivan, which was a fun and informative guide to the whole set (it’s still updated and printed today), and a book called The Day Lincoln Was Shot by Jim Bishop introduced me to the weird world behind the assassination. I read it until it fell apart. 

 

There are lots of great books about presidents for readers of all ages—Robert Remini’s biography of Andrew Jackson is fantastic, and Candice Millard’s Destiny of the Republic has rightly won praise from all corners for reintroducing us to James A. Garfield. 

 

Tell us a little about what inspired you to write Dead Presidents and about the research, writing, and publishing of the book.

 

I’ve always found the presidents interesting and had long hoped to visit all their graves just for fun. In 2012, while I was covering the presidential primary for my day job, I decided to get serious about the idea and started planning out how I might do the trips, how much it would cost, and those kinds of things. The more I looked at the sites and the stories behind them, I realized there was a bigger theme, about how and why we build these sites and monuments in the ways we do. 

 

At first I figured I would just write about the trips for my website, but by chance I ended up hearing from a literary agent, who connected me with W.W. Norton, and what was a vague idea four years ago is a book today!  

 

What fascinates you about presidential history?

 

I think what caught my interest as a kid was how important they were—after all, it’s The Most Important Job In The World—but today I think I’m fascinated by the unique place they hold in culture. Yes, presidents are powerful, but we also expect them to go on late night talk shows and tell jokes, or host concerts at the White House, or console families after tragedies. We pore over the trivia of their lives and careers, and put them on bobbleheads and t-shirts...and in a time where we don’t have a lot of things in common as a society, we all have that same list of presidents. 

 

Which president or president’s history do you find most interesting?

 

This may sound weird but I get interested in different presidents at different times. While I was writing the book I got really interested in William Howard Taft—who’s always chalked up to being “the fat president” but is really a fascinating guy—and Andrew Johnson, who is tucked away in eastern Tennessee, a beautiful area, and is a difficult but interesting figure. These days I’m trying to learn more about John Quincy Adams, who gets his start in life in the midst of the American Revolution and dies while fighting slavery, not too long before the Civil War. What a story. 

 

What is your favorite story from the book?

 

My favorite stories are usually about how the lesser-remembered presidents often end up with the largest tombs, and that as time goes by those spots pick up new functions beyond honoring the presidents. William McKinley’s tomb in Canton, Ohio, for example, is at the top of a hill, so the steps leading up to the tomb are used by joggers and walkers. He’s contributing to public health more than a century after his death!  

 

What was your favorite presidential gravesite visited?

 

My personal favorite is Calvin Coolidge’s in Vermont—it’s a rural cemetery in the midst of these gorgeous New England mountains, just a beautiful spot. And the nearby state historic site has a working cheese shop founded in part by Coolidge’s dad. Great cheese, great views. 

 

And now for some questions about history in general. We talk a lot about a president’s “legacy.” What do you think makes a successful president and determines a strong legacy?

 

A combination of genuine success, good timing, good luck and/or good marketing. The journalist/politician Clare Boothe Luce once noted, correctly, that over time Americans boil down each president into one sentence. Some presidents’ sentences are simply that they were president—they’re barely remembered at all. Others are remembered for a piece of trivia or a milestone—that they died in an unusual way, or were the first or last president to do or not do something. A lucky few are remembered for what they did or what they changed. Some work very hard to make sure they’re seen well by history; others seem to care very little about their place in history books. In short, it varies, but there’s always a process at work to create those sentences by which we remember them. And that’s one of my favorite questions to ask: how did each president end up being remembered in his particular way? 

 

How do we get young people interested in history?

 

We’ve seen just in the last few years how even the dead presidents have come up in national politics, like when President Obama announced Mount McKinley would finally be renamed Denali. If we can teach kids to ask that next question—why was a mountain in Alaska ever named for McKinley? who never set foot there?—maybe you start to uncover an interesting and revealing story. 

 

I’m convinced anyone who’s interested in people will be interested in history, because that’s really what history is about—us.  

 

What’s next? Have you given any more thought to my unsubtle suggestion of a follow-up book? You know, a Dead First Ladies?

 

The top two suggestions I’ve had for a next book have been dead vice presidents and dead first ladies! It looks like Kate Andersen Brower, who wrote The Residence, may have beaten me to the punch on first ladies. But I have a few ideas that are just as vague now as the one that turned into this book was four years ago. Who knows where one of them might lead? 

Thanks, Brady, for the book and the interview. Also, for the reading recommendations! I hope you'll come back when your next book comes out.