Other Women's Stories: What I'm reading this week (2/11/19)

Last week I finished:

Caroline Fraser's Pulitzer Prize-winning Prairie Fires had been on my TBR for a long, long time, but it just never seemed to rise to the top of the list, perhaps because of its length. So I made a goal to read it this year, and I moved it to the top of my list. I didn't read the Little House series as a kid, and I've only read the first two books as an adult. But, I loved the television show. I always knew the show wasn't particularly faithful to the books, but I never knew where the plots diverged. I wanted to read this book to answer that question. I know so many people who loved this book, and I was so sure I was going to love it, too. And I did love the first 200 pages or so, but after that, it became tedious for a number of reasons. First, the book focuses way too much on Rose Wilder Lane, Laura Ingalls Wilder's daughter. She was a little off-kilter, and that made for fun research, I guess, but I just didn't like the front-row seat to someone's mental unraveling. Too often, the focus was taken off of Wilder and placed on Lane, and I have no idea why, other than to make a longer book. Second, the book focused so much on research, but I never felt like I got to know the real Laura. I picked up some things, but I didn't feel like after 500+ pages I had a full picture of Laura Ingalls Wilder. Third, the part of the book about Laura's (and Rose's) writing career before the Little House series was so boring. I finally gave myself permission to skip whole sections--and I'm not a skipper. Lastly, and most importantly, the book was so full of the author's bias that I lost faith in her ability to tell the truth. I've never read a book that received such accolades that was as biased as this one. Every book may betray an author's political and social beliefs to some extent, but this was way beyond the pale. I couldn't get past it, and if I hadn't been so far into the book before I realized what was going on, I would have jumped ship. Additionally, I believe to evaluate history through the lens of modern-day values and norms is ignorant and unforgivable in a literary text, and apparently, Fraser didn't know or care she was doing it. For the record, more people than just Rose Lane (and Laura Ingalls Wilder) believed President Roosevelt's New Deal was the beginning of the end of self reliance (one of the values Laura Ingalls Wilder held most dear) and see it as the beginning of personal reliance on the government. I will say that I learned some interesting historical facts (at least I hope they are facts) about various things I knew little about, finding the part of the book about the Dust Bowl particularly interesting. Also, the sections of the book that talked about each of the Little House books inspired me to continue with the series. I found the first two books too simple, without enough tension to make them interesting. It would seem the rest of the series is much more interesting. But in short, I cannot recommend this book, it was just too flawed. My rating: 3 stars.

Months ago, I added The 5 Love Languages to my TBR, just because I've heard so many folks talk about it, but I had little idea what it was all about. I am always very skeptical about personality tests and books that seem like nothing but long Cosmo articles on how to improve your marriage, but I still decided to try this one, knowing I could put it aside if it didn't speak to me (or if I found it too hokey). I certainly never expected to see myself buying into the premise. But I kind of did. A short overview: Gary Chapman, a counselor of some sort, posits that there are five basic "love languages": Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Each of us speaks one of these languages fluently, and likewise, that is the language we want our spouse to speak to us in. The problem is, your spouse likely speaks a different love language fluently. And that's where marital dissatisfaction begins. The book was written in a very simple, very declarative-sentence-after-declarative-sentence sort of way. Many of the situations were rather dated (there's a lot of talk about wives ironing their husbands' clothes) because the book came out in the early 1990s or so. Yet, its simplicity makes logical sense. That being said, I am interested to know whether these differences in love languages are due to nature or nurture. For instance, my dead last love language is Physical Touch. I was never hugged or kissed as a child, can't remember ever sitting on anyone's lap, and in fact, there is not a single photograph of either of my parents holding me. Is Physical Touch my fifth language because of my childhood or is that coincidental, I wonder. As for my primary love language, I'm not entirely sure which one it is. Dr. Chapman said some folks have trouble deciding their love language because their "love tank" is always full. While the term "love tank" makes me cringe in embarrassment, this might be the case with me. My husband shows love in all five of the ways Chapman talks about, and I'm not sure which I'd miss most if my husband would drop one. I did wonder throughout the book, though, if it makes sense that most of us give and receive in only one way, or if only those spouses who aren't paying attention do. Overall, this book surprised me, and I'm glad I read it. My rating: 4 stars.

I'm currently reading: