Other Women's Stories: What I'm reading this week (4/1/19)

The only downside of a readcation is all the reviews to write afterwards! Here goes....

Last week I finished:

You know I love my Flavia stories, and book seven was no exception. In As Chimney Sweepers Come to Dust, we find Flavia "banished" to a girls school in Canada. I was initially disappointed to think that Flavia wouldn't be at Buckshaw in Bishop's Lacey with her difficult sisters and all her friends. But I quickly got used to seeing Flavia out of her element, and it was fun. Of course, our girl detective isn't in Canada long before there's a corpse at her feet--literally this time, as a skeleton wrapped in a Union Jack dislodges from the chimney in her room and the head rolls off--and she has a case to solve using chemistry and her good old common sense. Telling you any more might ruin things if you haven't read all of the previous books in the series (this is a series to be read in order), and I'll not tell you how it ends. I read this one start to finish over readcation and loved every page of it. My most fervent wish is the series never ends and Flavia never ages. She's my favorite literary heroine. My rating: 4 stars.

Oh, politics is a charged subject these days, isn't it? As someone who spends a lot of time listening to news, reading opinions, and thinking about politics, I feel that I'm well-informed. But, I sometimes worry I'm locked up in an echo chamber, and I sometimes fear I'm losing compassion for those with differing opinions, and that's where I Think You're Wrong (But I'm Listening) comes in. Written by the purveyors of the Pantsuit Politics podcast, Sarah (liberal) and Beth (conservative), they lay forth the things we can do to make talking about politics more comfortable and less fraught. Working as I do in a very liberal environment, where decisions are made based on the political leanings of those in charge, it's often impossible for me to have a voice because I'm concerned about reprisal. If I don't agree with policy, I'll be branded a hater, and there's always the fear of dismissal if I'm not a team player. This makes work difficult, and it's especially hard when I remember that it didn't always used to be this way. I've been at my current job for almost 21 years. The views and overall climate has changed drastically, but my convictions have not. More and more I feel a need to address this on a personal level just to keep my head above water. It's a very difficult situation to be in where you don't feel understood or valued, when you're told your strongly-held convictions are outmoded and prejudicial. So, I went into this book with a lot of raw emotions and a fair amount of resentment and frustration and hurt. And I had high expectations for the book. Of course, a book cannot be the whole answer, and this one wasn't. It was, though, a good reminder to constantly try to see both sides, to search out facts (though this is difficult because there are no unbiased reporters), and to be kind even when you fervently disagree. Following are some thoughts I wrote down right after finishing the book. (1.) The importance of empathy is alluded to but never explicitly addressed in those terms. A big missed opportunity in light of this being a Christian book. (2.) They often started with a premise that was biased, such as the imbalance between the sexes--not everyone believes there is an imbalance, so conversations based on this foundation can't be helpful to half of your readership (or listeners). (3.) The whole book felt like it was written by Sarah (the liberal) with conservative examples sprinkled in. The conservative view often wasn't represented, or was weakly represented. (4.) The book challenged my own issues of seeing things in terms of scarcity and reaction with fear instead of with the power bestowed on me as a daughter of the Kingdom. (5.) Their base belief is of nuance--but I firmly believe in right and wrong; things aren't "a little wrong" or "mostly right." Nuance should exist in the discussion that leads to the conclusion on a topic, but each topic should be solved by what serves the greater right. So, I didn't necessarily come away from the book with a changed consciousness, but perhaps a renewed sense of monitoring my thought about "the other side" for hardness and bitterness, and most especially, fear, because in the grand scheme of things, God is the great Governor, not a Democrat or a member of the GOP. I think this would be a good book club read as the discussion could be very interesting. It didn't change my life, but it may have helped open my heart a bit. My rating: 4 stars.

Sometimes I pick up a book--and this is especially true for decorating books--and I have rather low expectations overall. And then I'm so pleasantly surprised to find something I had been looking for but didn't know I was. That's a lot of words to say Myquillyn Smith's The Nesting Place was an unexpected delight. Smith, her husband, and their three sons, have lived in over a dozen homes in about as many years, and she has something to say about making a home and taking risk. While the beginning part of the book where Smith took us through the circumstances that landed them in 13 homes with three young boys and not a lot of money made me quake with fear, overall the book showed me more about myself than about my style. My husband and I are six months away from paying off our 30-year mortgage in just over eight years. This is a first home for both of us, and while we made some mistakes (such as, there's more to taking care of a yard than mowing the grass and caulking a hole in bathroom drywall is not a good fix), we've learned a lot about home ownership and what we do and don't want in our next home. Because, while reading this book, I finally had the guts to admit aloud that this probably wasn't my forever home. I've always been afraid of wanting more out of a home than the snug, sweet, little rambler we bought. After all, some folks don't have homes. And some folks can't afford to be mortgage-free in less than 30 years. Who was I to want more? Wasn't I the one who watches HGTV shows on mute because I can't stand a young 20-something couple with two small children saying they HAD to have five bedrooms, a gourmet kitchen, and a three-car garage, or they wouldn't ever consider the house? I grew up in a falling-down-around-our-ears 100-year-old farmhouse--and not the swanky Fixer Upper kind, either. Being able to do laundry at home should remain a luxury after that. But I do want more, or at least I want different. And I'm finally able to better articulate that. Smith comes at homemaking with a Christian slant, which I was happy to discover. That was a big plus in my book. What I didn't care about was her DIY decorating style. I appreciate that it works for her family and their budget, but I won't be making a wreath for my front door out of plastic spoons in this or any lifetime. Yet, I sincerely love that there are people who do! My antique paintings of dogs are likely too fusty for some. So, you do you, I'll do me. Also, I retain my reluctance to put 87 nail holes in the wall above the couch. Again, fine for you, but I'll be measuring mine out with an engineer's precision so no hole is made that isn't used. Less and less do I feel bad about how I choose to decorate, or what I choose to buy, or how much I choose to spend for the perfect piece. And this book came along at the right time to have helped a lot. My rating: 4 stars.

Recently I read that Reese Witherspoon's favorite book was Graham Greene's The End of the Affair, and when I run unto someone throwing out the title of their favorite book, I have to check it out. How can one not? So I picked up The End of the Affair on audio, read by Colin Firth, without even really finding out what it's about first. The story is this: writer Maurice is working on a piece about civil servants' wives, so he begins an affair with Sarah, who happens to be one. He is (or becomes, I don't remember which) friends with her husband, Henry, too. But Sarah abruptly ends the affair, and things become tortured and tragic all the way around. I didn't know this was a story about infidelity, thinking that the "affair" in the title referenced a "relationship"--you know how the English are. And I really, really don't like infidelity in plots. For some folks it's abuse or imprisonment or rape, for me it's infidelity. I can tolerate it if it's a side plot, I guess, but for a whole book to be based on it? Ooph. So, I may not be an impartial judge, but I will try to be. I can see why some would love this book. It's a character study, and it goes deeply (though I would have perhaps preferred going even deeper). Often character studies are admired because they just seem so smart. I was frustrated that the motivations of both Maurice and Sarah were rather shallow and rather shallowly discussed. (Some, I know, would disagree.) The relationship just felt rather ill-conceived, and the characters felt more like teenagers than middle aged post-war folks. I was hoping the introduction of religious conversion of the female character would take us deeper than it did. (Though, again, some would disagree.) This would be a good book club selection, as there's a lot to discuss. I just really wasn't my cup of tea, and I was not disappointed when it ended. My rating: 3 stars.

Years and years ago I read Anna Quindlen's slim How Reading Changed My Life, and though I loved it, I have never returned to it. As part of my year of re-reading, I decided to pick it up again. At less than 100 pages, this is really just a long essay (or maybe several essays) about her lifetime spent reading, from her girlhood days choosing books from her neighbor's basement shelves to her wonderfully dated essay on reading electronically, and how that's probably not going to catch on (how much you want to bet Quindlen owns a Kindle nowadays?!). I have a feeling the same parts that appealed to me in 1998 appealed to me 20 years later (I'm remarkably consistent in that way), but overall, it didn't pack nearly the same punch as it did the first time I read it. Unfortunately, that probably has to do with the amount of reading I've done since then. It's the avid reader's Catch 22--the more you read, the more you have to measure a previously loved book against. Still, this just might be the first book I ever read about reading (and long before I was the great reader I am now), and that means it will always have a sentimental place in my heart. Also, this was likely my introduction to Quindlen's nonfiction, which I enjoy above most anyone else's. So, even though my revisit didn't quite measure up to my first time through, memory alone is enough to keep it cemented in its spot as a favorite. My rating: 3 stars.

I'm always looking to go deeper into a poets' repertoire, and my latest foray was Carol Ann Duffy's Sincerity. England's Poet Laureate in 2009, Duffy's work surprised me. I know I've read many poems by her in the past (like this wonderful poem), but I've never gotten a feel for her voice. This was an eyeopener, and I've found a new favorite, I think. Her poetry ranges from domestic to emotional, exploring grief, aging, time. I found several wonderful poems here, and I'm so glad I tried this book. In fact, I plan to buy a copy of it for my poetry collection. My rating: 4 stars.

This week I'm re-reading: