Other Women's Stories: What I'm reading this week (2/8/21)

Last week I finished:

What Makes a Marriage Last, Marlo Thomas & Phil Donahue

I enjoyed this book. It's a long one, just over 600 pages, and it takes you through interviews with 40 famous couples. It was sometimes obvious that the couples were friends of the authors', which was kind of cute. I have lots of observations and quibbles with this book--how can you not after 600 pages--so I'll start with quibbles. Quibble one: it's not the best writing. There's a mix of interviews and explanatory paragraphs with quotes from the celebrities being interviewed, but the explanations aren't great writing and the four-way interviews are rather difficult to read. Also, I found several errors that should have been caught buy editors. Quibble two, I felt there was too much Phil & Marlo in the interviews. I know it might be natural to talk about yourself in such a situation, but I would have preferred that be edited out. Quibble three, the celebrities chosen. The couples leaned very heavily toward actors and journalists--where the authors' interests lie. I would have preferred a more diverse set of celebrities. There were very few couples from music (what about Faith Hill & Tim McGraw? Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood?, and others, too), authors (Stephen King?), comedians (Tina Fay, Jay Leno, Jim Gaffigan), celebrity cooks (Ree Drummond, Rachael Ray, Ina Garten, Guy Fieri). Also, there was a dearth of conservative couples (no Tim Allen, Dr. Ben Carson, etc.), especially couples of faith. There was almost no one from a background where marriage is a church sacrament. (Why not Candace Cameron Bure, Kirk Cameron, Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar, and some of those mega-church preachers?) Conservatives and traditionalists have a much different view of marriage than Hollywood liberals do, and this book would have benefited from a more balanced view. Last, they overcompensated on gay couples. Fully 10% of the celebrities chosen were gay, when only .003% of all US marriages are gay marriages. Two celebrities I was especially disappointed not to see in the book? Tom Hanks/Rita Wilson and Ellen DeGeneres & Portia de Rossi. So, those are my quibbles. It's quite possible they tried to get some or most of the people on my list, and they were turned down--who knows. So what surprised me about the book? First, that I knew all but one or two of the couples. I'm not a follower of pop culture, but they must have chosen well if I knew almost everyone. Clearly their names opened doors for them, and a less-known couple would not have faired as well. I was also surprised at how little overlap there was in answers between couples. They all seemed to view their marriages differently. I didn't find a lot of common themes, which just floored me. I was also surprised at how uncomfortable the book made me at points. I'd try to imagine how my husband and I (marriage almost 19 years--longer than some in the book) would have answered the questions posed and how we would have looked on the page, and sometimes I feared that we'd look terribly unhealthy. We tend to have the same arguments over and over and seem to resolve nothing. Yet, I truly believe our marriage is one of the healthiest I've ever known. Lastly, I was surprised at the questions Marlo & Phil chose to ask the couples. There was a lot of talk of how couples fight and who gets jealous and why. I have to say that if I was given ten minutes to put together a list of questions for this type of assignment, the fight one would have been an afterthought and the jealousy question never would have come up--and we've dealt with jealousy issues in our marriage! I would have asked "How do you say 'I love you' in your marriage?" I mention this because interestingly the words "I love you" only came up ONCE in the whole book. Well, I could go on and on, but this one was food for thought. I think I'll mark my favorite interviews to return to. And on that note--my favorite couple there? Hands down, Mary Matalin and James Carville. My rating: 4 stars.

Victoria, Daisy Goodwin

This is a re-listen for me, and it stood up to my original high rating. I just love this book. It's the fictionalization of Queen Victoria's first months on the throne (meant to supplement the PBS series), and it's so engaging, well-written, and fun. The audio is very well done, too, and I recommend it. My rating: 4 stars.

Paris to the Moon, Adam Gopnik

This book has been on my TBR for years, possibly for decades. I owned it at one time, but I've long since "unhauled" it. But I picked up the audio recently, which was listed as unabridged on Amazon, but the case says "unabridged excerpts," whatever that means. It didn't feel like the whole book, but what was on the CDs was good. Well, let me say that again. The first CD (of four) was just awful--verbose and almost obnoxiously pedantic, and I considered abandoning it, but the rest of the presentation was quite enjoyable. So, I don't know if I recommend this one or not. If you like memoirs about Americans living abroad or about Paris, go for it, I guess. My rating: 3 stars.

This week I'll begin:

Look what we have here! I enjoyed the interview with Mary Matalin and James Carville in What Makes a Marriage Last so much that I immediately (re)purchased their book (which I'd bought when it came out years ago, never read, and got rid of...) which came to me signed by Mary Matalin! I cannot wait to start this one.

At night, I'm reading: